December 1st didn’t go pretty well after what my grandparents told me regarding the financial status. I didn’t realize that every month, they pay at least ##k! And that it wasn’t enough. I didn’t know what to feel. I waited for them to leave my unit before I started to become reckless.
I began to over-think. I needed a roommate. I needed to study well for a better job that I don’t even like. That’s the problem. They didn’t know I was planning to shift to another course because I knew this wouldn’t work out. And now they’re asking me to find a roommate for the next academic year.
I was starting to despair. The money I earned from the internet wasn’t enough. I wanted to help, but that was all that I could give.
I couldn’t help but tear up. I didn’t want my grandparents to suffer or experience shortage because of me. They still have my sister to sustain. My sister who isn’t aware of anything at all.
I knew it. No wonder I’m having trouble in distinguishing colors. No wonder I can’t finish a certain artwork that involves coloring. No wonder I’m having a hard time matching clothes and whatever. I am colorblind.
I hope that this case of colorblindness isn’t as big as I think it is. It’s so sad that I have color deficiency. I mean, I wanted to be a color enthusiast. I wanted to be an artist, yet this flaw seems to have barricaded me.
But you know, I will not quit. I have had huge improvements in my talent and I’m proud of it despite this flaw. Though sometimes I feel discouraged, I will and should still keep moving forward.
I sometimes think that if ever I became a well-known artist (hahaha) I want to be an inspiration to those colorblind people who dreamed of becoming an artist like me. Even if there had been several colorblind artists.